Thursday, November 14, 2013

Sheet Metal Toaster by Al Oldfield

Sheet Metal Toaster

A long time ago there was a toaster. That was owned by a girl and her dad said she was special her name was
Claudia Taco Unicorn. Claudia loved tacos and unicorns she made her own taco toaster that only made tacos
and nothing else and if you tried to put bread in it, it will spit it back out. Claudia’s BFF was a unicorn named
Maria Lobster Karma Cheese ball. Maria had wavy rainbow hair.
One day Claudia got her toaster and Maria and went to the park with her picnic basket. Whilst Claudia was on
her way to the picnic spot she found a panda and put it on Maria’s back. Ok so Claudia then found her picnic
spot and sat down with Maria and her toaster. The toaster was so happy that it came alive and turned into a
taco. The taco was alive and could talk so it named itself Jerry. Claudia’s picnic was over and everyone went
home to relax and go to bed.
A week later on October 3, 2004 Jerry was taken by her evil brothers with spiky orange hair, yellow teeth and
doesn’t wear a shirt! Claudia got on her taco flying bike and flew to her brothers houses. When she arrived at
both of her brother’s house (they lived together) she smashed the door open with Maria by her side. When
they got inside they notice Jerry wasn’t there and that her brothers had hid it somewhere in town! So Claudia
got back on her bike and rode to the town it took 3 hours to get there but Claudia thought it was worth it.
Claudia and Maria got to the town and were going to the taco shop first and Jerry wasn’t there, they went to
every shop they saw and they saw nothing. But there was one they didn’t go in and that was the teddy shop
near the hat store. They went inside and saw unicorn with the unicorn teddies. They picked up Jerry and went
home it was a long way away but they were all happy they found Jerry.

Sheet Metal Toaster by Al Oldfield
Story by Claudia Brennan

Sheet Metal Toaster

One dark and stormy night young John was up late reading when a knock filled the room. John opened the
door and slap-bang there was an old lady with a dropping cape holding an ancient toaster. ‘Take this little
boy, take it now’ that horrible witch was saying. John explained that they didn’t need a toaster but she just
whispered ‘doom be upon you if you shall not take it’. ‘OK just give the toaster and get away from me’ said a
scared John. She evilly smiled and disappeared saying ‘good boy’. John put the toaster on the bench and went
to bed. Next morning his Dad asked him what’s that metal thing, so John explained what happened but Dad
just laughed and told him he was dreaming and maybe some fresh air would do you good. So they decided to
walk the dog to the park. Meanwhile the toaster sucked in a slice of bread and cooked it to flames and shot it
at the morning paper, making it burst into flames and set fire to everything. When John and his Dad got home,
or what was left of home they were horrified to see the toaster psychopathically shooting burning toast and
electrical forks at everything. Then John without a moment to spare grabbed a frying pan and started hitting
debris at the ‘toaster of doom’ as out of control as the toaster. John was an A grade cricketer and he smashed
an electrical fork in the toaster, causing it to short circuit and shutdown… …for good.

Sheet Metal Toaster by Al Oldfield
Written by Angus Gurry

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